back from many days of absence

I haven't been writing for a while, but a lot has gone on. Mostly my continuous decline in health. I just came back from getting a chest X-ray to try to determine what's going on with me. I now have a bag full of drugs at my disposal and don't really know what to think while I'm sitting here alone in the house again. This is something I did not anticipate when planning my summer.
Doesn't it always seem like these things happen when you don't want them to? God has to have some grand sense of humor. Well, at this point it could be anything from allergies to cancer. Meh. Being sick for so long is beginning to take a toll on me. I can't do as much as I want to and the things I do want to do I don't have the energy to do.
As far as the internship goes, I've done lots and lots of paperwork. Geez, I never knew how much time this stuff took up. I'm dealing with a lot of confidential info that if screwed up could really get Tammy in trouble, as well as doing minor things like folding pamphlets and making copies. Soon she's going to have us interviewing parents for the enrollment process.
Let me talk about an image that's stuck in my mind.
There was a parent who wanted to get an application but had difficulty in getting to the center. So, like we have to do sometimes we made it out to her. First we stopped by her job, and when we didn't find her there we went to her house. There were a couple lines of trailers next to the highway and we pulled up to her place right behind the school bus that was dropping off kids from the last day of school. There were several kids that went into the house when Tammy went out to talk to the parent, but there was one little boy who just stared at us in the Head Start van. He was a black boy, probably around 2 and walking outside barefoot and wearing only a diaper, just staring at us intently with his fingers in his mouth. He just stared, and i saw him there in the trailer park and I just stared back at him. He looked for probably about 30 seconds before climbing the stairs into his house and being let in by another young kid.
I didn't stare at him with pity really, but intrigue. He made me smile a crooked smile filled with curiosity, one that wished his parents were out here but they probably thought he was inside already and I wish he was wearing shoes but he was just staring with his fingers in his mouth. I didn't really think about his life, I didn't really ponder anything of great substance, I just watched him climb the stairs in his diaper and enter into the trailer by the highway. Now I find myself having an inner one-way dialogue with the image of the diaper boy that goes something like this:
Diaper Boy, you seem like a strong kid. Something in you looks like a fighter. You're gonna need to be a fighter because your decisions unfortunately may have heavier consequences than most people because of your "disadvantages".
Disadvantage is a strong word. The word itself has the potential to snuff out dreams before they can begin. I don't think I like this word very much. No Diaper Boy, you can do whatever you want, but unfortunately a lot of how you perceive this word, this "disadvantage" has to do with your parents, your guardians, the ones you can't choose. I know you can do anything you want to do, anything you DREAM to do, but how will you know if no one tells you? If no one shows you that you are a person, and because of that heart and brain that reside somewhere inside that tiny frame of yours you matter, you deserve respect from everyone but most of all yourself? Because if you don't believe in yourself, how can you know that you don't have to grow up angry without a reason, oppressed without a knowledge of who is oppressing, and broken without a way to be repaired?
Diaper Boy, I can't save you. You don't need "saving." You need someone to show you that you matter. I really hope the people inside that house know that. I hope they show you, Diaper Boy. I really hope they do.